Crooked Love

'Good morning, instead of going out I made you breakfast since it's pouring.' 'I hope you like your eggs scrambled, last night was a lot to handle, girl you do some crazy shit with candles..' she laughed and took the plate I made for her and the orange juice in the glass and sipped slow as she grabbed my hand, she told me 'i appreciated the past 24 hours but, my man called while you was gone and I has to leave now..' I looked away I started to shake a little and I tried not to scowl.. 'Awe that's okay, maybe next time, you know?' She replied, 'Yeah..' I turned away from her and smiled, 'yeah? That's all you have to say too me?' I asked myself... 'After all he's done to you?After I covered the bruises on you? Paid your car note too?' She tries to leave so I shoved her up against my wall, 'What the FUCK nigga? I told you I have to go.' I just wanted you to know the next time he tries to kill you don't call my phone. 'Yeah whatever nigga I'll be fine, he's in the driveway anyway.' 'WHAT? YOU BROUGHT THAT NIGGA TO MY HOUSE?' She proceeded to leave, I followed grabbed my shotgun as she dipped out... I opened the door after she reached the car, I cocked, he shot.. 'Get down on the GROUND!' Rang off repeatedly in my head, her screams, now I know what it sounds like when that cop hits on her.. Then i died ...

Taylor Outro-lude

All I did was give you the shaded part of my planet.

I'm blunt all the time and you couldn't stand it.

But I don't like to play games cause if I lose I might panic. 

Told you shit other couldn't get out of me if they planned it.

My heart belonged to you in our short moment.

You could've owned it but you disowned it.

And that's okay we both left and I learned from it that's just a bonus.

Remember how we loved "Own It" ?

Crazy how I don't even miss ya.. 

Crazy how I never even diss ya..

But I'm sure you diss me with all your friends and that's okay. 

You had my thinking I was losing it like I was going crazy with nothing to say.

You were just another page..

Last thing you told me I remember you said I'd miss ya.. 

but don't take this poem as confirmation it's just me entering another phase.. 

I'm focusing.. On me and tings.. 

Crazy how you got on me about who was in my snapchat.

Who was in my favorites.

You worrying about cyber shit and neglecting that were fading. 

But that's okay. 

Remember all the plans we had.

All the shit we said.

Too soon I guess.

Nothing true I guess.. 

Cause if that was the case this poem would stem from the first one I wrote for ya.. 

in a positive light..

but the lights coming from the moon. 

And my hearts dark and my thoughts dark..

But that's okay..

You thought that little effort you put in was enough..

You thought blaming your fucks ups on me would call my bluff.. 

I must be average like I tried to tell ya before.. 

I kept pretending like shit would work,

Even though I always see the end I try to ignore..

Thanks for trying you probably don't remember half the shit but thanks anyway. 

At least you were different in a way.. 

Can't even say I should've known but I swear I did I swear I do, you so petty I can be petty too..

How bout now?

Pain

Huey said peace is the only way to stop a nigga moment 

But for once this ain't black on black

All we wanna do is get served with protection

Why you feel like you have to armor yourself against me?

Huh mister policeman? 

Don't call for no backup when I got my back up to the sky and my hand up high

"Don't Shoot!"

Don't gun me down when I'm turned around and I'm asking why? 

"Don't Shoot!" 

My soul hurts today 

I feel like they don't want us to pray

I feel like they want us to stay

I feel like they want us to give up and stay up and fear up but never bless up

God why don't you bless us?

Why don't you bless us?

They have guns and all we have is cameras

Reporters have cameras 

And now the officers saying 

"Don't Shoot!" 

Well how cute you don't want to the people to be aware mister officer?

You don't want the people to see my lying here in my own blood?

Huh officer?

This shit making me wanna cry nigga

Why my niggas?

Huh?

Why only my niggas?

Why only us nigga? 

Huh nigga?

Abe Lincoln ain't free us

We ain't never been free

Cause it's 2014 and I still have this chain on me

Emancipation my ass

We ain't gonna ever be free...

Robin~

No one wants a troubled boy

Show them you're a stronger boy

But I can't even lift my head to the thought... 

All of the thoughts I fought

All the bruises I got 

And inflicted...

I'm aware of my sickness

What exactly am I conquering?

Suicide is my personal conjuring

Plenty are concurring

So why not?

I love you Mom..

Make sure you tell my Pop

I never knew him but he was always in my heart..

Thank god you can't hear this shot

To my sister

I'll miss ya

You're basically my daughter...

Just remember all I taught ya

To my unwed wife...

My unborn...

I'm so torn

No ring planted and no makings of a life form

But I would rather my child not start life scorn

Where will my spirit go?

Don't proclaim you'll see me in heaven because you never know

I figured a bullet will be less painful 

And loud enough so someone will finally hear my handful...

Problems I have a handful

Well...I had a handful

With no one to hand to

Laid them down finally and grabbed the Smith & Wesson from the mantel

..... 

Yin and Yang~

Dom Kennedy said get love when I see it

I continue to grab outfits that don't fit

It's funny how my honesty got her thinking I ain't shit

Back when u lied to girls things would always stick

And I know you're prideful and you have your resins for everything

But letting your past mess up your future might hinder a wedding ring

At the end of the day I pay for another mans mistakes everyday 

When I say I love you back I don't just reply because it's something to say

Questions you know the answers to you bombard me my face

As if your number isn't the only one in my call log all over the place 

Nothing is the same life stay changing 

As I put my head down and I say grace

If I could do it all over again I wouldn't

Head telling me to let go but I couldn't 

I just want you to believe me when I say this

I wish you would except the way I play this

You can vent to me just don't take it out on me

But if you do I won't bruise I'm about whatever for you

Perfection leads to questions but don't wonder why you need me

And don't wonder why I love you

I hope you allow my step and hear my knock on your door

I pray you caress my head as I kneel to your floor 

Us even further apart than we already are is all I fear

So blindly toward you I stare 

Conversation With God

Yesterday I met a Freeman...

He spoke to me as if he wrote on his hand

A couple years back I wouldn't understand

Capital STEEZ on my age made it all make sense

He spoke through my ears into my spirit

Deeper thoughts aren't stagnant when you hear them

He told me the god of this world inst who I think

He said I should close my eyes and think instead of blink

This god controls the air so he waves into what we hear

He asked if I ever wondered why we went to the moon with all that gear

Then explained the moon controls the waves but water is on God's side

If the god of this world wants absolute power he would need to control the tide

There's a war going on pass the atmosphere we ain't safe from

When fallen angels can take the form of man and get what they came for

He told me your third eyes is broke 

if you can't see the pass the signs he shows 

But the devil tries to make seem like a hoax

You can pray but without connection do you think you will be in God's reception

Sometimes the voice you hear is the god of this worlds perception 

Trying to make you think like the masses he already has in his grasp

This is one conversation I'm glad I had...

Vent~

I'm scared this might be the end and I don't know how to take it

I'm scared I'm finished searching for something I thought was unattainable, darkness is lurking

Instead of me embracing how happy we were I just think about how happy I'll be

Not considering how sadden you've became

Not thinking about how much you miss me mane

And it's not that I don't miss you but others have been waiting on this moment for the longest

My stamina for you was the longest

So how could I just give up...

How could I wake up and not love you no more 

Knowing that's how you was supposed to do me though

Fast though the process was supposed to be so slow

Ending things without venting things is why I lay in sorrow 

I know you're upset and don't think this is real

If only you could imagine how I feel..

Fantasy~

I open my eyes and see your face

My arm still around your waist

Does last nights activity matter

Looking at our clothes scattered

We lost our underwear against the wall

I took off your bra while you put me in your mouth sitting on your yoga ball

Your first sound will be a moan since I'm still inside

Morning wood for a morning ride

Morning dew as I push inside

Your eyes open 

a stroke awoke you

Fantasies until I meet you..

Fantasy or travesty

I wanna use up all my energy

Then eat you like a canapé 

No need for reasoning with you like a fallacy 

Our bodies meet together in the middle instead of arguing

A poor man can't put you in that mindset I saw you in

When I open my eyes and so were yours 

But your face was under the covers open sucking me in more

I want you so much right now it hurts

Delicate how your body is perched

I can finally end my search..

Taylor Interlude~

I'm aware we haven't met, 

doesn't mean I can imagine our sex, I'll make sure to keep you wet, 

I'm see you soon, 

I'll see you soon, 

yes I'll be there, 

yes I'll be there, 

about to board a flight, 

sitting at my gate, 

I can't wait to kiss you but I'm so far away, 

all I wanna do is give you all of me finally, 

are you ready? 

Are you ready? 

All night I've been staring through the screen can't you tell I want you? Can't be to comfortable but there's nothing I won't do, 

That's when you start to laugh, saying I just want what I can't have, won't even give me a chance claiming I'm just not as serious as you shorty if you only knew, this is serious.. 

I wish i could see you daily, 

I wish I could catch a flight and book a hotel room, 

have you come thru and show you everything I told you I would like to do to you baby. 

That's when you start to laugh, saying I just want what I can't have, won't even give me a chance, claiming I'm just not as serious as you,

shorty if you only knew,

this is serious.. 

Good ones go if you wait too long that's why I'm done waiting, 

I'm done be patient, 

why we gotta put a halt on greatness? 

I'm here and our lives are for the taking, so let's take it.. 

I'll stay as long as you like if you let me, 

I shouldn't be much longer but you shouldn't have to wait... I guess I make it worth it treating you like you're all worth it, 

I'm yours if you still around as our time apart worsens.. 

She knows she knows she knows..

Hope~

It's 12 AM on a Sunday and I know you're asleep but this is when I think about you the most, I just got home from work and I know it's selfish but I wanna wake you from your slumber, scrolling up and down my timeline looking for the exact time you sent your last post, I have a big secret that I wanna share with you so I dial your number, you don't answer and your voice tells me to leave a message, the machine beeps and all I do is breathe cause I wanna share this in person not over radio links, I wanna meet up and finally have the chance to tell you in person these other girls ain't nothing compared to you being the one I mess with, another night goes by another night without you and my confidence shrinks... I can't wait until I can love on you give you everything I said id do, do everything I said I would make everything seem so new, hope this is new.. 

Persian rugs~

Kissing you there

Since that's your spot

Fucking you right

Don't here leave tonight

Girl don't waste my time

Girl don't disappoint me

I don't just wanna lay with you

I wanna stand up with you in my arms

I don't wanna chill

I wanna make love to you

Even though I ain't in love with you

Even though I never kissed you

So what if this is only the first night?

This isn't our first time

Girl don't waste my time

The bedroom is safe quit being afraid

The least imma do is make all the hurt go away

Kissing you there

Since that's your spot

Fucking you right

Don't leave here tonight

I'll be waiting on you

Until you get through

Let your mind set the mood

It's always a deeper love inside

You don't have to hide

I'll make you wanna run but let me stay inside

I don't wanna go outside

I don't wanna leave this room

Don't I turn you on?

Kissing you there

Since that's your spot

Fucking you right

Don't leave here tonight

Lay your tongue on every inch of me

Look up at me you don't need to see

And I'm gon lick right where that g string stay

And I'm gon suck right where that g string stay

My fingers going in and out you bae

Love making is something I just crave 

Does that make me crazy babe?

Shallow soul~

She ease the pain of the battle that's within me, 

the pain from depression and past envy, 

I have every single answer except the ones directed about me, 

I'm complex on purpose you take your time and find out if it's worth it, life lies some would say the truth ain't even worth it, 

she twirls around my mind as my soul spins, 

Living in a everlasting world I want to end..just look at the state I'm in.

S.O.C.

I'm drinking now. 

Almost to the point where I don't care if I end up falling. 

I'm invincible now.

When the liquor is in my soul I feel at home when I'm away.

I'm back home now. 

Her is too, and of course Her found her way back in.

I'm not sure what to do now.

I never ended things, I never wanted things to end.

How do I tell she I love she but have had enough of she?

I've reached my highest solstice. 

My soul is lifting within mischievousness. 

I'm just uncertain on how to dismiss. 

The mourning after, waking up I'll mourn us after. 

A beautiful death of what we couldn't last for. 

Never catch what I'm running after.

Still I chase dodging every curve. 

Filling her straight with curves.

Knocking her down raising her spirits.

She fills my desire but Her is on my wish list.