Expectations..

*sigh... When I was younger all the people around me would say things. "I'm gonna do this & that for you." and they did it all, especially my mother. There came a time when my "father" would too, this takes me too my point... People always expect so much of me and I very rarely deliver. Most importantly in relationships... The typical relationship goes like this, you talk for a minute, everything is great, get together and thats when you learn the true person and it determines on whether out not you like what you learn if you stay or not... For Mr its not so simple. Females look up too me, in some weird perfect guy way, and that's not what I am in relationships at all.. Now I brought my dad into the equation because the point of these expectations. I now believe that the reason my dad left me pretty much haunts my love life cause I truly loved Travis when I was younger, and now that hatred that I have for him causes me too be this stand offish type of person.. I continue to lose females that mean the most too me, just like how I lost Travis. And after losing them I hate them, just like how I hate Travis. Now in my life I don't expect a thing from a female, and I can't trust them cause I somehow see the end before it happens...i just wish she stayed long enough so I could get through this but of course she left like the rest did..like my dad did. Can't blame her though, she don't know what I'be been through, I just want to be able to show my full potential to someone.... Anyone, but, who can I trust?