.live si evoL

Because of you I feel love isn't worth it, because of you in my head love is person, that I neglect even though she maybe perfect cause when I cry for help no one hears me so love ain't worth it, my heart is torn enough pages wrinkled up so trying to reach me is like being forever blind, we love blind and without thinking no wonder hearts get broke cause we pay them no mind, I keep my emotions inside my ribs in hope that they'll never break through, and my dreams seem to paint a picture I'd just always look through, no hope in my eyes no truth in your words all lies you spew, these letters I write seem to always be about you no exceptions, but you never believe we'd never conceive even if I stopped believe in protection, batteries couldn't make my heart work again neither would it energize the bunny that's suppose to beat for me, inside I feel nothing and yet outside you can tell I just see what it looks like for a girl to really be in love with me, how can't I feel kisses even though I haven't gotta my mouth numb by dentist's in months? she tries to make me love her beating into my heart but it's so tough, so just to ease her pain I fade away, into the lonely abyss I've made a home plenty days, and I struggle with my decision to stay away, but the love I have for you but don't show you is as great as blades, and right now I couldn't connect with you like crates, my mind must be your home cause you knock and I act like I'm not there, you catch me peaking through the window I crouch down and turn around then infront of me you appear, this the only way I know how to stop the headaches and clear my soul, I hope one day when I'm ready for love you'll be there with my favorite soup and a bowl, but till then I'll keep writing knowing I'll never reach you, knowing I'm a class that now I couldn't teach you, my mom always told me I should've never chose you I should've never made you the only one and that I should never just have one, and I wish I listened cause everytime I seem to narrow things down the wider the tear in my heart becomes, love for me is like jungle fever something I know I could but probably shouldn't, and if I would I'd love her but she'd act like she couldn't, pain breathing inside and I write it down, heart beating in my chest but it feels outta town, and I wanna let it all go but I don't know how, my finger are taped to you still after broken vows....

love ain't real.

Re-jointed broken bones couldn't piece together what we tore apart, from the start I thought you was the one and I couldn't believe we would ever stop, the pain I felt after that passion we shared showed we should've never started, since pleasure is pain I raise your high heels towards my chest and let them pierce through my heart, the more I stroke the farther you dig in me, fuck it though cause you never was only digging me, love has fucked me while it was fucking another, love has cheated on me in front of me cause I didn't wanna smother, love has cried out that it missed me when it was with the next nigga, pretty much I'm everyone's ex nigga, while you was fucking me you thought of him no wonder all you do is moan so you don't speak his name instead of saying "daddy", crying on the phone saying you don't wanna be alone and that you don't wanna lose me but why would you abuse me? how hard for you will it be to erase me cause all we do is space this, I'm so cold too me all chicks do is lie why cry on my phone knowing you don't truly care, if you cheat then how much feeling does saying "I love you" really bare? it felt like I impregnated you and you ran into a wall purposely too lose it, premeditated murder how you took my heart and straight abused it, I never would've thought love could do this too me, leave me in a puddle of tears that I didn't cry but ones that were somehow used too me, mucky water made of your excuses and your temptation, im stuck riding waves from your deceitful stimulation, simulation of love we played..

Gray.

I can still remember the first time I saw you.
Freshman, laying eyes on my Mona Lisa.
First loves always end up making you search for a second.
And I needed way more than a second to understand what I got from you.
What is this love, Juanlisa?
I've dreamt of putting a ring on you.
I've dreamt of you bearing my children.
But your dark love was bearing on my heart heavily.
Breaking me down, breaking me down until I crumbled.
The whistle within the wind against the trees told me I shouldn't love you.
But I'm not much of a nature lover.
I've been bandaging the bruise you placed on me for five years now..
The first person to ever make me be someone I wasn't.
Your the reason I'm so stubborn.
No matter how hard I tried your shoes stayed tied we never was bare skin with each other.
Word got to me that you let another man taste the affection you kept from me.
And I still stayed, But I found revenge within another female.
Even now you still haunt me cause a girl wanting my heart doesn't seem too spark me.
Since I wanted you to forever be the driving force to my heartbeats.
Lost love and forgot it's meaning after you.
Still trying to silence those screams I yelled at you, begging you.
My Mona Lisa came with a stained frame.
My Mona Lisa had a cold grin.
My Mona Lisa was painted all gray.
When I feel like this my favorite colors gray, and your in my daydream for days.
Even though I'm passionate on the inside my exterior is stone.
And you made me feel like rain drops, racing from a storm.
I gotta learn how too love again because of you.
But I don't think I'll truly love again because of you.

Good Morning, Good Night.

I wrote this imagining what I want my life too be like once I'm married.. Your welcome..
While we're yawning, I always whisper in your ear in the morning, kissing you on your cheek and reminding you of the passionate night we shared prior, as if I didn't wake up inside you; how could you forget? Breakfast in bed for my lady, my sweet baby, how I treasure you like when I polish you with oil before our night begins, passionately entering you as you stare into my eyes seeing how much passion I have for you, you know; before your eyes roll back and I caress your back so softly, giving you a pillow too bite on making you feel comfy.. See in the night I'm ramming you, but in the morning I'm making you breakfast in bed and telling you sweet everything's in your ear cramming you, with my love.. Sweet love, almost like a caramel scent, after I've watched you towel your body down you glaze your body with caramel spice lotion, and I don't complain I just cement my tongue on your every inch; 'tonguing' you just to get too the core of your love. How many licks does it take to get to the core of your love baby? Yeah, was that corny? Well I'm Horny and I'ma tell you straight up I wanna make love till the sun lay up in the morning, and lay in our same passion all day until the sun sets, and our bodies wet, fuck changing the covers we ain't wanna go no where, and if we hungry we can feed off each other baby it's whatever.. Pulling your hair to arch your back, just so I can hit the same spot that you moan the most for over & over again.. Imagine me licking your spot, and disobeying you when you tell me to stop, what a sexy sin.. and you'll be screaming for me and I'd make you finger yourself so you have nothing to pull at.. does it matter what time? Does it matter if we moaning or yawning? as long as I can sleep with you and wake up too you it'll all be worth it..

Love Life

I used to have a heart, till the first girl I loved cheated the game. She was gonna be my high-school sweetheart, turned sweet tart cause everything she did wrong was right in front of my face and it was like I lived with a blindfold cause I was blind to the fact that she had one upped me.. see you girls like to act like your angels and us men are the devils that continuously beat Tokyo down but I know for a fact that ain't true.. no matter how cute you might think I am, I still can't change the fact that I've been cheated on three times from three women I said I love you too.. the same three women that cried over me and called me perfect.. the same three women that can't keep relationships to this day due to karma biting them.. Ever since I've been living with my feeling deep inside, bringing them out in these love poems I write.. you know I hate when hoes say that hate sensitive men & when people bash Drake or The Weeknd, I'm neither sensitive nor do I hide from my feelings I just bring them out when I feel 'em.. The most disgruntled females tend to flock too me, then leave when they notice I'm not who I seem to be, but why care I've given my all to a female I thought I was gonna marry and she spit on my gestures, and I still hold on to some of that hurt till this day.. till this day I haven't given another all of me cause I'm scared they'll just throw my heart away.. what more can i say?

" You can read people. & Unless you settle yourself, you're just doing you. You know female games & sometimes to pleasure yourself , you go along with it. But then again, they may become a little more involved than you, & start to think you don't care because of your type of personality , but They still come back. Meaning that sometimes they set themselves up for getting their feelings hurt if they can't handle that , making them a masochist . But they like "the thrill" . You're mysterious , you're different . Nothing's gonna make them feel THAT real , so even if you aren't feeling it , You can give off strong vibes." - Aries..

idk, bouncing concepts .

I bet if I promise to love you forever, we'd walk the gates of heaven together, souls touching never worrying about whatever, angels playing our favorite songs, so I kept my face in Psalms & stopped chasing other arms, I know the lies I used to tell you compel you, just don't let em shell you, you love the attention when your lit up and burn out when I'm reluctant to give that shit up, tell the world your mine and shit just for others to wanna take your shine and shit? I don't think so, but it makes you feel special, and that's what I'm here for, love shouldn't be so mental, I feel stupid when I write you these love poems, and feel intelligent when I'm making love to you, no one can tell me you don't love me just by your facial expressions, moan out "I love you" after we done sexing, your my crazy love and you know it, you try hard not to show it but your jealousy does grow'eth, you make me wanna serenade..what a day that'll be..

So intimate..

How intimate can I get it? I bet you set up shop with your girls speaking on what your men respectively have instore, and all of their stories are a bore, compared to yours.. See I love to choke and make sure moans aren't even spoke.. Not to make any marks around your neck, but just so you'd respect, that I like control. The beast I turn into, once I'm in you, would make you think there's a full moon, but it's so eclipsing, how I'm hitting, your frame.. Papi and Daddy is all I hear from you.. Telling me to go harder even when my hardware is at it's hardest.. Your craving for me and I've trained and controlled this between us for years slaving for you, slamming my body into yours like we're wrestling but this ain't no fake shit, the blood sweat and tears are products of your nails clawing me and my tongue all through you and my penis piercing your body making you cry through.. imagine this done to you, imagine were on a slip and slide going till I reach the end just to dry off and go again, that's how I go off in you.. No candle lit dinner, no R. Kelly needed, I feed off your body and we can go twelve rounds playing with each others bodies until we drown into the sticky wax that spills from us both.. I live to wet you in-between your butt cheeks, while I'm layed on you with you under me and me on top of you, you gasping for air and grabbing for the legs of the chair I'll pull your hair forcing you to embrace this passion.. Back to my controlling ways.. See, I don't fuck or fight fair, I'll pull hair, press my tongue against you anywhere, as long as there ain't no breath in you after all the moaning and screaming you do and your motionless I'll know what I did was fair and full of emotions miss.. Ain't it crazy how car crashes and thunder can't upstage our accidents on purpose, purposely our bodies clash causing hurricanes and flash floods from the fluids we secrete.. Some call it nut or skeet but it's much more than that see we observe each others back as I cradle you and you scratch mine, then I get behind and wrap my arms under yours pressing your back against my, chest, I guess, we should nut now.. Huh? So intimate..