Tuesday, July 24, 2012

.live si evoL

Because of you I feel love isn't worth it, because of you in my head love is person, that I neglect even though she maybe perfect cause when I cry for help no one hears me so love ain't worth it, my heart is torn enough pages wrinkled up so trying to reach me is like being forever blind, we love blind and without thinking no wonder hearts get broke cause we pay them no mind, I keep my emotions inside my ribs in hope that they'll never break through, and my dreams seem to paint a picture I'd just always look through, no hope in my eyes no truth in your words all lies you spew, these letters I write seem to always be about you no exceptions, but you never believe we'd never conceive even if I stopped believe in protection, batteries couldn't make my heart work again neither would it energize the bunny that's suppose to beat for me, inside I feel nothing and yet outside you can tell I just see what it looks like for a girl to really be in love with me, how can't I feel kisses even though I haven't gotta my mouth numb by dentist's in months? she tries to make me love her beating into my heart but it's so tough, so just to ease her pain I fade away, into the lonely abyss I've made a home plenty days, and I struggle with my decision to stay away, but the love I have for you but don't show you is as great as blades, and right now I couldn't connect with you like crates, my mind must be your home cause you knock and I act like I'm not there, you catch me peaking through the window I crouch down and turn around then infront of me you appear, this the only way I know how to stop the headaches and clear my soul, I hope one day when I'm ready for love you'll be there with my favorite soup and a bowl, but till then I'll keep writing knowing I'll never reach you, knowing I'm a class that now I couldn't teach you, my mom always told me I should've never chose you I should've never made you the only one and that I should never just have one, and I wish I listened cause everytime I seem to narrow things down the wider the tear in my heart becomes, love for me is like jungle fever something I know I could but probably shouldn't, and if I would I'd love her but she'd act like she couldn't, pain breathing inside and I write it down, heart beating in my chest but it feels outta town, and I wanna let it all go but I don't know how, my finger are taped to you still after broken vows....

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