Tears From A Soulja

He's only with you because you're perfect and he doesn't deserve it... but, you don't leave. he's there for you, while I can't be... and, under the surface I know you can't see how I feel. but I'm angry... and I just want you to be with me... but, we already fucked up once before and once more could be the end of all this shit. so, I cover my head as these missiles fly past...while he's probably eating out your ... This will be the last letter. hope you know that I love you and I'll wait for you wherever I end up. things aren't looking up... its looking like we're staying here for another 12 months. I just can't take it... Tell my mom I love her, tell my sister I'm sorry, it's not your fault... but knowing we'll never be together sure does haunt me..I didn't wanna self destruct but, nothing calms me...I keep seeing children in my dreams I killed trying to disarm me...you'll probably hear about this on the news, before this letter gets to you, so... this is all premature but I hope this gets to you first.. Goodbye.

Convos Pt. 1

Bed rooms are filled with snakes too & before you let him get it he might seem like a great dude, but all you are to him is great food// that he can eat and shit out then walk out on whenever he decides to, I know you're shy boo, I know it hurts too// but give me a chance I swear I'll never leave you, even if you ask me to cause I can't stand when a women feels so weak that they have to leave a good thing.. to go back to the same old hurt, because at least they know how to somewhat make that work, somewhat.. Man life ain't fair at all, you don't even answer my calls, but you let this nigga hit on you..and allow him to blame it on daddy withdrawals// nah, that ain't proven at all..that ain't something you should go through, every time you tell me he disowned you// it enrages me and like Goku...I get mad then calm down once I realize the battle isn't hard at all but you continue to let him slap you, I wish I could trap dude// and set him straight, serve him a dish of karma on a fucking plate, but you wouldn't appreciate the latter...so I sit back listening to why he making you madder, why he won't kiss you and I fix my face to diss him, ask you why you don't listen// why don't you just leave him and ride with me, but// I'm done putting my offer out, I'm done saying the same shit and landing up on the same route// if you wanna get beat close to your death on a daily then go ahead, hope you don't realize you should've switched sides after you're dead..

No Smiling

Be free in this forsaken nation that brought us here in slave ships. 
We try to turn the slave ship into a space ship, but no matter how powerful we get there's always a white man above letting us know our power ain't shit, in this world...their world and we just inhabitants. 
What are we teaching our children? 
To be leaders of the new world order cause there are no leaders of the free world? 
Seeing as free doesn't exist, sometimes I wish my life would just quit..,and give up along with me. 
Then I hear on the radio another man got shot in his kidney and I wanna give mine up knowing I got another but we're afraid to give to our own brother...sometimes I think that's silly. 
They say we all have a twin well show me mine, so I can equip his mind...with all the warning signs. 
Basically don't be black in the wrong position....and don't be of color around some white picket fences, you might end up missing. 
Be on your best behavior...I mean they'll still shoot ya but if you're on your worst they just might noose ya...we fighting all alone but we always fighting ourselves...instead of asking for help, we question each other's wealth. 
Why our leaders gotta be illuminati? 
Meanwhile that first existed as some white man shit...the outlook on a degree turning fickle to my people in the hood, cause don't nobody make it out....the five percent that do go to college they only there to hoop. They get promised a fortune and a Porsche out of that five maybe two percent make it to the league, then break a knee....without taking care of their mothers needs. 
They get tossed right back into the system. 
Back into the hood. 
We see a picture of him on Twitter looking bad and we laugh like: "damn Homie we thought you was the man homie." but at least he made it out...he saw a lane and he took it. 
God has a plan for us all...but if we act blind to that fact it can seem like Jesus just overlooked us. 
Trust Jesus was with Mike Brown that day, there's a reason the police had to manipulate..words we set up a memorial and it was BURNED in Devils fire..Angels sing about how they wish evil would retire, so can't we dream? 
Look up to the sky and remember Martin Luther King Jr. 
Remember why they shot him remember that they'll shoot you if you stand for something bigger than yourself and you DREAM... and sit for something bigger than the masses...Rosa Parks took control of that bus but not for us to not take advantage of the life they passed us.. 

Lost Journals

Like I said earlier these are three poems I picked at random from my old iPod luckily I picked these, my writing has VASTLY improved. Wow. Time flies. But happy new year to everyone. Enjoy. 

Well this first one here, I can't really remember where or who it stemmed from but the poem is pretty self explanatory. The one was also untitled so, yeah. Here it is.

In the passing of love it is lust we express and nevertheless it'll be your breast that I miss, yes.. But I digress, never will we be again. It'll be your love that I can't throw up since I digest well; digested your lies and deceit.. Although the those words made me weak, still transparent is my outlook towards you, seen through you always my ship in the open bottle, our love went full throttle..at one point.. I wish I fell yet again I'm glad I didn't because I wouldn't have been able to stay hallow, this love lost I would've felt... 

If you know me you know my dad isn't around right now and he never really was around at all. My poetry started out as raps that's why it has that feel to it but I could never really write the cool gun raps (well I could cause all of my homeboys did but I never liked my raps as much) so I would always write about my life and felt they were poems in a rap format. So, here you go. This one was also untitled.. 

'Round ain't no fathers to show us how too man up, so when the blue lights shining we quick to throw our hands up, pops play the corner so we learn to live on our own, that Jay Z song "Can I Live" really spoke too my soul, so before I play the hustler way I'll find out a couple goals, want my little cousins to have someone to look up to, my little sister destined on Harvard I hope that's what she do, Babygirl I'd love to spend my life with you, but I gotta spend most of it ducking lights red and blue, wish this world was perfect and I'd make it out but to make it how I wanna I'd have to sell out... 

This one was titled "Laying In Bed With My Ex" pretty self explanatory, we ended up getting back together and shorty ended up cheating on me by the way.. Here you go.. 

Laying in bed with my ex, oh how I wish I was, I wish my spirit could sit with you and hear how much you bad mouth me, how much times you say you should've never left me.. Laying in bed with my ex, best believe I would make your body tremor and that pink thing under your waist line simmer and yet you'd feel so far away from me even if I was... laying in bed with my ex see, you're an ex for a reason, things don't just go bad without one, either I fucked up or you did but we all have those "what if" moments like: what if I was in bed with you, touching your skin, grabbing your hair, kissing your spine.. You'd like that huh? But now I can only wonder what laying in bed with you would even feel like...

P.S.A.

Hello everyone. It's a new day and a new year. I just thought I'd get my thoughts off today strictly about my writing and what not. (Meanwhile Yeezus is blaring through my speakers so I can barely focus.) Okay so, 2014 was a good year for me and I hope it was even better for you. But that's in the past now so try to make 2015 YOURZ. Don't just put up that "New year, new me." Tweet and don't mean the shit. Now, my writing.. If you know me you know I don't even like my writing like that and I very rarely give myself a pat on the back about it but some of y'all do enjoy it and to those of y'all that do I love the FUCK out of y'all and pause to the men, I don't love y'all like that. I've come to many crossroads within my writing, I've retired and came back to writing more than Jay Z but I'm back at it for real now. I just wanna thank @princexhermes aka Jay Blake (I'm not gonna put your government out here like that pleighboi.) This my brother for real, pushing me, writing his ass off and inspiring me for this year for sure. I'm gonna keep this short so, in closing: if you fuck with my blog, pay attention. P.S. I've been working on this very important piece, it'll be the first official release for me this year, coming very soon. Alright. Peace and love. 

Crooked Love

'Good morning, instead of going out I made you breakfast since it's pouring.' 'I hope you like your eggs scrambled, last night was a lot to handle, girl you do some crazy shit with candles..' she laughed and took the plate I made for her and the orange juice in the glass and sipped slow as she grabbed my hand, she told me 'i appreciated the past 24 hours but, my man called while you was gone and I has to leave now..' I looked away I started to shake a little and I tried not to scowl.. 'Awe that's okay, maybe next time, you know?' She replied, 'Yeah..' I turned away from her and smiled, 'yeah? That's all you have to say too me?' I asked myself... 'After all he's done to you?After I covered the bruises on you? Paid your car note too?' She tries to leave so I shoved her up against my wall, 'What the FUCK nigga? I told you I have to go.' I just wanted you to know the next time he tries to kill you don't call my phone. 'Yeah whatever nigga I'll be fine, he's in the driveway anyway.' 'WHAT? YOU BROUGHT THAT NIGGA TO MY HOUSE?' She proceeded to leave, I followed grabbed my shotgun as she dipped out... I opened the door after she reached the car, I cocked, he shot.. 'Get down on the GROUND!' Rang off repeatedly in my head, her screams, now I know what it sounds like when that cop hits on her.. Then i died ...

Taylor Outro-lude

All I did was give you the shaded part of my planet.

I'm blunt all the time and you couldn't stand it.

But I don't like to play games cause if I lose I might panic. 

Told you shit other couldn't get out of me if they planned it.

My heart belonged to you in our short moment.

You could've owned it but you disowned it.

And that's okay we both left and I learned from it that's just a bonus.

Remember how we loved "Own It" ?

Crazy how I don't even miss ya.. 

Crazy how I never even diss ya..

But I'm sure you diss me with all your friends and that's okay. 

You had my thinking I was losing it like I was going crazy with nothing to say.

You were just another page..

Last thing you told me I remember you said I'd miss ya.. 

but don't take this poem as confirmation it's just me entering another phase.. 

I'm focusing.. On me and tings.. 

Crazy how you got on me about who was in my snapchat.

Who was in my favorites.

You worrying about cyber shit and neglecting that were fading. 

But that's okay. 

Remember all the plans we had.

All the shit we said.

Too soon I guess.

Nothing true I guess.. 

Cause if that was the case this poem would stem from the first one I wrote for ya.. 

in a positive light..

but the lights coming from the moon. 

And my hearts dark and my thoughts dark..

But that's okay..

You thought that little effort you put in was enough..

You thought blaming your fucks ups on me would call my bluff.. 

I must be average like I tried to tell ya before.. 

I kept pretending like shit would work,

Even though I always see the end I try to ignore..

Thanks for trying you probably don't remember half the shit but thanks anyway. 

At least you were different in a way.. 

Can't even say I should've known but I swear I did I swear I do, you so petty I can be petty too..

How bout now?