Robin~

No one wants a troubled boy

Show them you're a stronger boy

But I can't even lift my head to the thought... 

All of the thoughts I fought

All the bruises I got 

And inflicted...

I'm aware of my sickness

What exactly am I conquering?

Suicide is my personal conjuring

Plenty are concurring

So why not?

I love you Mom..

Make sure you tell my Pop

I never knew him but he was always in my heart..

Thank god you can't hear this shot

To my sister

I'll miss ya

You're basically my daughter...

Just remember all I taught ya

To my unwed wife...

My unborn...

I'm so torn

No ring planted and no makings of a life form

But I would rather my child not start life scorn

Where will my spirit go?

Don't proclaim you'll see me in heaven because you never know

I figured a bullet will be less painful 

And loud enough so someone will finally hear my handful...

Problems I have a handful

Well...I had a handful

With no one to hand to

Laid them down finally and grabbed the Smith & Wesson from the mantel

..... 

Yin and Yang~

Dom Kennedy said get love when I see it

I continue to grab outfits that don't fit

It's funny how my honesty got her thinking I ain't shit

Back when u lied to girls things would always stick

And I know you're prideful and you have your resins for everything

But letting your past mess up your future might hinder a wedding ring

At the end of the day I pay for another mans mistakes everyday 

When I say I love you back I don't just reply because it's something to say

Questions you know the answers to you bombard me my face

As if your number isn't the only one in my call log all over the place 

Nothing is the same life stay changing 

As I put my head down and I say grace

If I could do it all over again I wouldn't

Head telling me to let go but I couldn't 

I just want you to believe me when I say this

I wish you would except the way I play this

You can vent to me just don't take it out on me

But if you do I won't bruise I'm about whatever for you

Perfection leads to questions but don't wonder why you need me

And don't wonder why I love you

I hope you allow my step and hear my knock on your door

I pray you caress my head as I kneel to your floor 

Us even further apart than we already are is all I fear

So blindly toward you I stare 

Conversation With God

Yesterday I met a Freeman...

He spoke to me as if he wrote on his hand

A couple years back I wouldn't understand

Capital STEEZ on my age made it all make sense

He spoke through my ears into my spirit

Deeper thoughts aren't stagnant when you hear them

He told me the god of this world inst who I think

He said I should close my eyes and think instead of blink

This god controls the air so he waves into what we hear

He asked if I ever wondered why we went to the moon with all that gear

Then explained the moon controls the waves but water is on God's side

If the god of this world wants absolute power he would need to control the tide

There's a war going on pass the atmosphere we ain't safe from

When fallen angels can take the form of man and get what they came for

He told me your third eyes is broke 

if you can't see the pass the signs he shows 

But the devil tries to make seem like a hoax

You can pray but without connection do you think you will be in God's reception

Sometimes the voice you hear is the god of this worlds perception 

Trying to make you think like the masses he already has in his grasp

This is one conversation I'm glad I had...

Vent~

I'm scared this might be the end and I don't know how to take it

I'm scared I'm finished searching for something I thought was unattainable, darkness is lurking

Instead of me embracing how happy we were I just think about how happy I'll be

Not considering how sadden you've became

Not thinking about how much you miss me mane

And it's not that I don't miss you but others have been waiting on this moment for the longest

My stamina for you was the longest

So how could I just give up...

How could I wake up and not love you no more 

Knowing that's how you was supposed to do me though

Fast though the process was supposed to be so slow

Ending things without venting things is why I lay in sorrow 

I know you're upset and don't think this is real

If only you could imagine how I feel..

Fantasy~

I open my eyes and see your face

My arm still around your waist

Does last nights activity matter

Looking at our clothes scattered

We lost our underwear against the wall

I took off your bra while you put me in your mouth sitting on your yoga ball

Your first sound will be a moan since I'm still inside

Morning wood for a morning ride

Morning dew as I push inside

Your eyes open 

a stroke awoke you

Fantasies until I meet you..

Fantasy or travesty

I wanna use up all my energy

Then eat you like a canapé 

No need for reasoning with you like a fallacy 

Our bodies meet together in the middle instead of arguing

A poor man can't put you in that mindset I saw you in

When I open my eyes and so were yours 

But your face was under the covers open sucking me in more

I want you so much right now it hurts

Delicate how your body is perched

I can finally end my search..

Taylor Interlude~

I'm aware we haven't met, 

doesn't mean I can imagine our sex, I'll make sure to keep you wet, 

I'm see you soon, 

I'll see you soon, 

yes I'll be there, 

yes I'll be there, 

about to board a flight, 

sitting at my gate, 

I can't wait to kiss you but I'm so far away, 

all I wanna do is give you all of me finally, 

are you ready? 

Are you ready? 

All night I've been staring through the screen can't you tell I want you? Can't be to comfortable but there's nothing I won't do, 

That's when you start to laugh, saying I just want what I can't have, won't even give me a chance claiming I'm just not as serious as you shorty if you only knew, this is serious.. 

I wish i could see you daily, 

I wish I could catch a flight and book a hotel room, 

have you come thru and show you everything I told you I would like to do to you baby. 

That's when you start to laugh, saying I just want what I can't have, won't even give me a chance, claiming I'm just not as serious as you,

shorty if you only knew,

this is serious.. 

Good ones go if you wait too long that's why I'm done waiting, 

I'm done be patient, 

why we gotta put a halt on greatness? 

I'm here and our lives are for the taking, so let's take it.. 

I'll stay as long as you like if you let me, 

I shouldn't be much longer but you shouldn't have to wait... I guess I make it worth it treating you like you're all worth it, 

I'm yours if you still around as our time apart worsens.. 

She knows she knows she knows..

Hope~

It's 12 AM on a Sunday and I know you're asleep but this is when I think about you the most, I just got home from work and I know it's selfish but I wanna wake you from your slumber, scrolling up and down my timeline looking for the exact time you sent your last post, I have a big secret that I wanna share with you so I dial your number, you don't answer and your voice tells me to leave a message, the machine beeps and all I do is breathe cause I wanna share this in person not over radio links, I wanna meet up and finally have the chance to tell you in person these other girls ain't nothing compared to you being the one I mess with, another night goes by another night without you and my confidence shrinks... I can't wait until I can love on you give you everything I said id do, do everything I said I would make everything seem so new, hope this is new..