ALONE

Ever watch a flick and the sex remind you of the shit you had with your ex? Same moans same chokes same passionate mess? Seems like just yesterday we was in your bed and afterwards it turned into our bed.. I know telling you I miss you would go through deaf ears, instead of your ears...I wish my heart was impaired, I'm supposed to be happy for you right? Happy I'm not your knight and he wears the shining armor right? Not feel jealous and not feel played because you know I was quick to not give a fuck, or at least act like it till you would let me fuck, but sex is not enough for someone you're supposed to love, I made some mistakes we both know that, I was working on myself for you and you didn't care that; I told you I needed you, but somehow I still want you back.. Love ain't fair man.. Love don't have pulse like we do so love don't care man, love just captures you and make you feel like you can't live without someone that can easily walk the door and who's gonna walk in front of you to stop you? Obviously love aint here man.. Honestly I was never at my best for you and my best was already given before so for you to walk out on me you had the right....but don't turn your back once I finally see that beam of light.. They say we ignore our feelings until the one we love leaves, that's true.. Cause I've never been this depressed in mind until I lost you, lost you.. And I don't even know what to do, love another? I couldn't even love you..when I needed too... No matter how long your gone from me he'll never know you like I do..he'll never make you shiver like I used to...recently I've just been saying fuck it but when I'm drunk and I just wanna text you and tell you everything in unreadable messages, I remember I deleted your number and our text messages, wore my heart as a bracelet to brace myself since the race of love has been something I couldn't pace with, you came and conditioned me to the point where I was running past shit, past you, past us then I slowed up and you wasn't there to take the time up...

Us as a couple?

They wouldn't go back in time,

They wouldn't go back in time, 

They wouldn't go back in time,

Now I'm stuck reminiscing on a love that I thought was ours but I guess it was just mine, just mine, just mine...

And I know that you and him somewhere, he's probably playing with you through your underwear, and I'm supposed to act like I don't care, I never cared, but I'm sitting here...writing you as if you're gonna read it and leave him there, make your way to my address and kiss me everywhere...wish I could still feel your heart beat its like your dead to me but still have a hold on me..

I can't love you this much no I can't love you this much for me to breakdown.. I can't love you this much no I can't love you this much......

Thought we was perfect thought trying with you multiple times was worth till I started to over look shit, I'm all fucked up now got me calling everyone a bitch...I'm all fucked up now, and I'm sure you getting fucked right now....while I'm stuck on what we was even though we was done with before we made up and tried again...just when I thought I had found love you walked away, you walked away, you walked away...I lost love for the last time and I'm done being Indiana Jones trying to find you, finding you then losing you just to waste our time I'm so through with you, I'm so through with love I'm so through with people I'm so through with us...hurts to say but I'll never trust, another girl or relationship how I trusted us, still wish I could feel your heartbeat so I could crush it like you crushed mine, still wish I could crush yours like you crushed mine...